fq-craigus
Well-Known Member
Here are some stupid laws:<br /><br /><b>Country Laws:</b><br /><br />- Under the reign of Elizabeth I, any person found guilty of "harboring a Catholic priest" would be tortured or even hanged. Any priest of the Catholic faith that was caught would be hanged, drawn, and quartered.<br /><br />- With the exception of carrots, most goods may not be sold on Sunday.<br /><br />- All English males over the age 14 are to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy.<br /><br />- London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats.<br /><br />- The severest Penaltys will be suffered by any commoner who doth permit his animal to have carnal knowledge of a pet of the Royal House (enacted by George I)<br /><br />- It is illegal to be drunk on Licensed Premises (in a pub or bar).<br /><br />- It is illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.<br /><br />- Any person found breaking a boiled egg at the sharp end will be sentenced to 24 hours in the village stocks (enacted by Edward VI).<br /><br />- It is illegal to stand within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch when not wearing socks (enacted by Edward VI)<br /><br />- Chelsea Pensioners may not be impersonated.<br /><br />- A bed may not be hung out of a window.<br /><br />- It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance.<br /><br />- Mince pies can not be eaten on Christmas day.<br /><br />- Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked manequin.<br /><br />- It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.<br /><br />- Picking up abandoned baggage is an act of terrorism.<br /><br />- Those wishing to use a television must buy a license.<br /><br />- It is illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour.<br /><br />- Destroying or defacing money is illegal.<br /><br />- If a steam locomotive is driven on roads, a man must walk in front of the vehicle with a red flag during the day and a red lantern at night to warn passersby.<br /><br />- All steam locomotives are limited to 4mph on roads.<br /><br />- Anal sex is prohibited.<br /><br />- You may not make out in public.<br /><br />- It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.<br /><br />- Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime.<br /><br />- Interfering with the mail or sleeping with the consort of the Queen is classed as treason, and as such, carries a maximum penalty of death.<br /><br />- Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason.<br /><br />- One may not "blemish the peace".<br /><br />- A license is required to keep a lunatic.<br /><br />- Damaging the grass is illegal.<br /><br /><b>City Laws:</b><br /><br />1. Chester<br /><br />You can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight.<br /><br />2. Hereford<br /><br />You may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close.<br /><br />3. Liverpool<br /><br />It is illegal for a woman to be topless in public except as a clerk in a tropical fish store.<br /><br />4. London<br /><br />Companies may vote in local elections.<br /><br />5. York<br /><br />Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow.
