jokes!

[B6lee]

I hate having a shit in someone else's house.

Especially when they catch you and make you use the toilet.




After making love to my girlfriend I always make sure I tell her those three special words.

Now UC off




What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison ?

You can't wash your face in a buffalo



I dated a squirter once.

She suffered from irritable bowel syndrome.



Heat Magazine: Coronation Street to celebrate its 50th anniversary with an incredible storyline which will involve four members of the cast dying.I'll bet the four cast members that will lose their jobs are absolutely delighted to be part of the celebration.

 

[youngy_315]

BBC NEWS: Madeira Disaster Kills Dozens

These things will happen if you let a man bake.

 

[stevolution2010]

the wife has now been missing for a fortnight,i just had a phone call from the police they say i should start fearing the worst

so i went straight down the charity shop to get all her clothes back

 

[B6lee]

Whats the longest hair in the human body ?



Your eye lash it travells up over your head down your back to your ass hole if you don't believe that then you pull a hair in your ass cheek an you see if it dont make you wink

 

[B6lee]

My numbers game: send me a message with your bank account number, sort code and 3 digit security number and ill write a status about my purchases

 

[B6lee]

Essex,the only place in the country where on Sunday morning, the women have a higher sperm count than the men!

 

[koeck]

Essex,the only place in the country where on Sunday morning, the women have a higher sperm count than the men!

lol

 

[koeck]

i used 2 go out with a girl who had deff and dumb parents, before leaving 1 night i went upstairs 2 say good bye, only 2 find her mum with a beer bottle in her fanny and her dad with a match stick in his eye.. i asked my girlfriend what the hell they were doing,, she said they are comunicateing ,mums saying get the beers in yu c*nt and dads saying f*ck off im watching the match.

bit long sorry

 

[B6lee]

Lol

 

[Skuff]

i used 2 go out with a girl who had deff and dumb parents, before leaving 1 night i went upstairs 2 say good bye, only 2 find her mum with a beer bottle in her fanny and her dad with a match stick in his eye.. i asked my girlfriend what the hell they were doing,, she said they are comunicateing ,mums saying get the beers in yu c*nt and dads saying f*ck off im watching the match.

bit long sorry

Good one

 

[evoaps]

____________

i braked hard but still hit the car in front.

a fit blonde got out and shouted: "ram me up the arse why dont you!!!"

And this your honour,is where the confusion began

 

[stevolution2010]

____________

i braked hard but still hit the car in front.

a fit blonde got out and shouted: "ram me up the arse why dont you!!!"

And this your honour,is where the confusion began

 

[Evo4TomB]

*SEVERE WEATHER WARNING* Snow is like a Penis, its measured in inches, soft to the touch, comes when you least expect it and it never gets as deep as you'd like it.

Driving in the snow is like eating pussy. If you dont slow down and pay attention you could slide into the arsehole infront of you!