Seen as its monday thought this joke would cheer ya up!

[AndyRsVan]

Paddy's wife has never had an orgasm, so they decide to go see a doctor to find out why. After a number of tests, the doctor suggests Paddy's wife may be over heating during sex and recommends they buy a fan for the bedroom.

Paddy refuses to buy a fan and decides to get his mate round to waft a towel on them during sex. After about 20 minutes of wafting and still no orgasm, his friend suggests a swap. "I'll shag her, you waft the towel" he says.

Paddy agrees and within seconds Paddy's wife is screaming in pleasure and has the best orgasm ever.

Paddy pats his mate on the back and says "....and that my old son, is how you waft a ****ing towel!"

 

[AndyRsVan]

Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Murphy 'Im gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!'

He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!'

Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts 'Paddy you're mad, go home.'

So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

'Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman.

'I cant work in the friggin dark! ' says Murphy

 

[stevolution2010]

Paddy and Patrick were sitting in the front room. Paddy was eating a bag of doughnuts. Patrick says "Hey Paddy if I can guess how many Doughnuts you have left can I have the rest?"

Paddy says "Ok if you can guess how many I have left il give them both to you"

Patrick replies "Ok than, 4?"

 

[AndyRsVan]

Paddy and Patrick were sitting in the front room. Paddy was eating a bag of doughnuts. Patrick says "Hey Paddy if I can guess how many Doughnuts you have left can I have the rest?"

Paddy says "Ok if you can guess how many I have left il give them both to you"

Patrick replies "Ok than, 4?"

:razz::razz::razz::razz::razz:

 

[dic]

thought i would give the irish a break......

a couple holidaying in the welsh countryside, stop at a pub for a drink.
they notice one of the locals sitting on his own and decide to buy him a pint,sit and have a chat.

the couple start by asking his name.....

the local says: i have lived here all my life you know.
that road you drove down to get here i layed all of that. do they call me "Di the road" NO do they call me "Di the tarmac" NO.......

you see the fence running along side that road, i put that all up.
do they call me "Di the fence" NO, do they call me "Di the post" NO.......

he countines with his rant - you see those houses opposite, i built those house's.
do they call me "Di the house" NO do they call me "Di the bricks" NO......

I SHAG ONE F**KING SHEEP!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dave Brennun]

So I huess we scared the Irish owners off so now we going for the Welshies?

I can't wait till ya get to the Scoots, they will tare ya all up:razz:

 

[dic]

So I huess we scared the Irish owners off so now we going for the Welshies?

I can't wait till ya get to the Scoots, they will tare ya all up:razz:

i'm welsh but don't mind a good welsh joke

 

[evoaps]

Ye laugh at the paddy but little do you know the paddy is your DADDY

 

[ElDopesta]

Ye laugh at the paddy but little do you know the paddy is your DADDY

Personally, I found your comment to be the funniest thing on this thread!!!


El

 

[DennisEvo]

I'm a little guted I don't no any clean jokes to put on here,all mine are just filthy lol